do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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