Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
