she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
