I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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