the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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