he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
