Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
