Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
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Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
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I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.