Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you were grabbing cocks left and right

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"

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  (808): you were grabbing cocks left and right (808): you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!" http://tfl.nu/iaqo
  Replies (10) Good night (5247) Bad night (922)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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  (252): U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry http://tfl.nu/sko0
  Replies (41) Good night (3969) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

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  (702): I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know. http://tfl.nu/ro3k
  Replies (68) Good night (9591) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

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  (215): I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract http://tfl.nu/jt8l
  Replies (2) Good night (2397) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding

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  (603): When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding http://tfl.nu/lhu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1691) Bad night (2574)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...

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  (216): You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them... http://tfl.nu/jngm
  Replies (4) Good night (2690) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.

  (1-925): View more from California

  If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.

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  (925): Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often. (1-925): If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough. http://tfl.nu/t59l
  Replies (1) Good night (1615) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy

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  (617): You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy http://tfl.nu/irre
  Replies (8) Good night (976) Bad night (2716)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

  (1+44): View more from

  Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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  (+44): Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over (1+44): Wet with either fear or sexual excitement (+44): I think a mixture of both is appropriate http://tfl.nu/euq8
  Replies (3) Good night (1712) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.

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  (570): yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain. http://tfl.nu/u0x1
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.

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  (636): it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa. http://tfl.nu/cslo
  Replies (19) Good night (1781) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.

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  (503): Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high. http://tfl.nu/n3hc
  Replies (8) Good night (723) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.

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  (256): Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101. http://tfl.nu/zhx3
  Replies (5) Good night (562) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class

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  (954): I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class http://tfl.nu/ks3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1218) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.

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  (207): I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee. http://tfl.nu/94ss
  Replies (1) Good night (271) Bad night (529)

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