I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
God I need to hump something, right now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
