Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So I'm banging this nun...

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...

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  (847): So I'm banging this nun... (314): Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already... http://tfl.nu/ygf2
  Replies (35) Good night (7503) Bad night (805)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  SHUT IT DOWN.

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  (480): I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it." (1-480): SHUT IT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/mpc8
  Replies (58) Good night (799) Bad night (5636)
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  (916): View more from California

  Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

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  (916): Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms http://tfl.nu/1qb7
  Replies (27) Good night (12086) Bad night (874)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend

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  (608): Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend http://tfl.nu/d6xp
  Replies (5) Good night (4527) Bad night (1206)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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  (816): And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog. http://tfl.nu/zv3p
  Replies (10) Good night (3294) Bad night (1853)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.

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  (918): I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka. http://tfl.nu/0tbw
  Replies (4) Good night (2770) Bad night (930)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?

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  (603): sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall? http://tfl.nu/ejbk
  Replies (8) Good night (2227) Bad night (911)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".

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  (404): Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant". http://tfl.nu/1jgx
  Replies (9) Good night (1477) Bad night (2965)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"

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  (865): Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris" http://tfl.nu/5ny6
  Replies (6) Good night (2332) Bad night (610)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots

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  (920): Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots http://tfl.nu/w4ec
  Replies (7) Good night (1362) Bad night (598)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?

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  (508): i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now? http://tfl.nu/8a2l
  Replies (8) Good night (1605) Bad night (575)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.

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  (225): I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/p6i2
  Replies (5) Good night (800) Bad night (485)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst

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  (801): I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst http://tfl.nu/2o2o
  Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (390)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now

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  (239): If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now http://tfl.nu/p1pa
  Replies (3) Good night (418) Bad night (139)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.

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  (321): It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic. http://tfl.nu/65fp
  Replies (1) Good night (246) Bad night (478)

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