he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
