he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
