Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
