so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.