We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
