I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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