did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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