I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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