bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
