I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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