hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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