i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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