Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize