I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
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Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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