it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
