Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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