this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
