My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
