i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
