the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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