so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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