I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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