She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
