Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
