The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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