bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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