just survived the first fart of the relationship.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
