3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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