Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
