wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
