I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
