What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
