There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize