I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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