thus making me awesome and them whores
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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