do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
