so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
