he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
