Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
