Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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