i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
