he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
