I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we made out on top of his cat.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
