It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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