I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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