Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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