A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the condom got lost in my hair
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
