need another drink. this is the easiest way
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
