It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize