I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
