there was a trapeze. enough said
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize