Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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