Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You smell like stripper and shame
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
PANTIES FOUND
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