they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
