let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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