Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
