Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
