My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.