Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
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So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches