i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
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In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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