you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize