So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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