laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We got so high we made milksteak
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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