so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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